Five hundret twenty five thousand six hundret minutes…

… how do you measure a year?

A good question. How long is time actually? I mean, time is something we rationally created and we accept to be the way it is. But why is time so different for everyone? Why do we experience it so completely different to everyone else? Why is time running so incredibly slow at the moment? Why does nothing improve but is just getting worse every day? Why do things always turn out the worst? And nothing ever works out?

I really don’t have an answer to any of these questions. What I know is that time is not working with me right now and I also know that I will need a lot of time, much more than I ever wanted or thought, to get over the things that happened to me lately. I am sure it is true that time heals… but when? Is time efficient? Is it mean? If it isn’t, then I might ask the question, why do we have to go through the times when things are just all bad. Why does it need so much time to see the light again? I am just not ready to accept that we have to experience the bad things all the time to enjoy the few seconds of joy we have in our lives. I simply don’t want to believe this. 25, no, almost 26 years and where am I now…? I have lost the perspective and the ability to look at things objectively. As nothing is turning out right.

Do we all go through this every now and then? I don’t know… but what I know is that I don’t want to wait for another 25 years to find someone again where everything feels right… I simply don’t want to wait for such a long time again. But then, considering the amount of people on this planet, I think the possibility to find the right person is incredibly small…

Sorry for the rant or the mess of thoughts. It is probably not the right thing to write here in the middle of the night when you had way too much to drink already. But this is the good thing here… I am amongst a small group of people who have the rights (at least on an IT-level) to write whenever they want. Feel free to ignore it… but if you read it: Welcome to my life. For details, please call me…

Completely fed up with things