A look ahead and maybe one back

The past months, I tried to post something here several times. I could not find anything of interest for you guys to write about. One thing I realised over Christmas and the few days after was, that the past year has changed a lot. And it made me aware of the fact that I have lost contact to a lot of people. Some – or basically most of them – I don’t care about. A few, I do. And it makes me feel very sad, that it was me to somehow give up on keeping in touch. I have not seen Hans in over one year now, and in the time between we have barely ever properly spoken. In fact, I have no idea any more how his life looks like at the moment. I realised that when I got the bad news from Norway at Christmas.

There is another friend in the UK that I have not treated much better. Yes, we may have seen each other this summer – for a lot of reasons, this probably was not the best meeting we ever had. At least, we got the chance to talk shortly before Christmas and I am very happy about that. I got the feeling that the connection has not been cut entirely. On the other hand, here as well, it seems that the things connecting us are all somewhere in the past. Years by now. Somewhere at L8 3SQ. And we remember a brilliantly ringing phone, that even kept going while Eyal was already talking to the person on the other end…

I have seen my family 3 or 4 times this past year. In total probably about 10 days. That is not much. And when I went home, I had to prioritise whom to visit for how long. My grandma, the only one of my grandparents still alive, has not been granted a lot of my time last year. And so it comes that I actually almost didn’t see her at all last year. When I was with her the last time, she cooked one of the things, only a grandma can cook. And it was one of those visits, that you don’t pay too much attention to, as it is “normal”. The day after Christmas this year, I visited her again. She now lives in a home for elderly people and barely recognised me at all. She talks about things of her world, things we outside of this world may not be able to understand any more. And maybe she does not either. She is waiting for her final relief every second she is awake now. And since I was there, I can only hope for her that this wish is granted in the near future.

I didn’t want to look back that much, but it seems, that the past is as relevant for the future as the future itself. But for the future, I am sure that the coming days and months will see a lot of change again. We don’t stop and so everything moves on. There is a wedding ahead this year and I am really looking forward to it (although I realised two days ago, that I don’t understand a single word of Norwegian and got a little worried about me following all the right procedures.. 😉 ). Maybe there is a play coming up in England at some point that we can all come and see, as we know the director very well. In February I am actually moving to a new flat, there are already projects lining up and god knows what’s gonna happen this year. So, I will try to learn from my mistakes in the past and also do my very best to make new ones in the new year. Wouldn’t life be absolutely boring without a little bump here and there…?

Have a good start into this new Year my friends!