Where?

We are all coming to the same point again: Who are we? What makes us who we are? And what makes us decide? What makes us find our way through life?

In the end, there is no right or wrong. Yes, I am sure, everything that happened to us up to the point of a decision will influence if not actually make the decision. But is this entirely true? Can we not decide against our own opinion? Yes, I might believe that this is the way to decide now, at this point. Based on previous experiences, the way I was brought up and the advice of other people I know what the “right” decision would be. But who says I cannot do the opposite. Just because I want to decide completely against what I believe in, because I feel this rebellion is the only way to bring me forward?

I went through a time lately when I also felt, we must be alone on this damn planet. With nothing but ourselves and maybe a few people that care. It cannot be that there is the one being, the one creature or what you want god to be called, who created all this but now gives a damn about how things go on in his/her world. I always had faith and slowly it seems I am getting back to a more normal level of faith again. I thought I could not have it anymore… but still, the question remains, why do things in this world go wrong for so many people? Be it just ourselves with our problems, which might be – compared to the ones others on this planet have to face – small, we still ask why? Why does it have to be so bad?

As an example, I know some people who seem to be a focus point for trouble and problems. If you look around yourself, you will probably find the one person, or family, that never seems to get lucky. People die, get killed in car accidents and people get seriously ill. And often there are one, two or even more of those things happening in one family. My grandma lost her youngest son in a car crash years and years ago. Her husband died of a heart attack, she survived one herself and then over a year ago her older son died of cancer after going through a seriously bad time. Although this is a tangent now (yes, I tend to walk Eyal’s way…) what I want to say is that it is really hard to believe in something like a god. Or at least in a god that is good.

But we were talking about identities. Or basically our own identity. I found a very interesting question on Friday, talking to a friend of mine: Where is this “me”? If I talk about “me” what am I referring to? Obviously we would think of the body at first. But this is not where I would locate myself. My consciousness must be located somewhere. But it cannot be the brain, it may be the result of the reactions, the electrical connections that happen in my head every second. But this lightning that goes on and on inside my brain creates something completely untouchable. You will never be able to touch your own “me”. The consciousness is something that actually cannot be measured or seen and it will never be. We will never know where the existence, OUR existence is located. But we believe that we are. We never doubt the fact that we are here. That it is “me” who is writing this here, and that it is “me” who thinks about it as well as it is “me” who decides on things. Yes, it might be difficult to believe in something sometimes. It is difficult to believe in things we cannot see. But “we” ourselves don’t really know where we actually exist. We don’t “see” each other really, we just see the physical expression through which we are able to interact with each other. But if we can believe that we are here, we exist, it could be possible something else exists, too. Although things go wrong and are not perfect. But we keep saying where people are working, people will always make mistakes. If you think about it, it is not the body who does make a mistake… it is “us”. And yet if we make a mistake, we know we did it. Maybe it is the same for god… who knows…?

God cannot be seen…. but have you every believed in something you didn’t see?