…of men and mice…

I guess.

wow… that, was, my friend, true wisdom. Although some part of me wants to say; I DISAGREE, the other part is sad to realise I have always known, yet never said nor wanted to believe, that you are absolutely right.

I want to fight what you have said with evert fiber in my body, to prove you wrong and to say that you are caving in. This is the one thing that you would never have me admit, for it is the basis of everything I am. My belief that we are the ones that will make it, that in the end, we were always right, that all the things we have said and done would somehow be justified by our eventual success. I guess this is my life’s great card house, it have always been, and I’m afraid it will always be. I believe that few people can understand the craving for success that I posess, which is almost narcisistic. Our joke that I’m always right and don’t loose is truly a sad joke, for in reality it is’nt a joke, it’s a nescesity. I have to be right. I have to win. I have to make it. This is what drives me. I will never settle for second, yet I know I can never be first. I will never settle for compromise, yet perfect is impossible. Know it as I do, I should accept reality.

But you are not and I do not, for as you so gently put it, there are many more things to life than work. Years ago, we had what I have later realised was a defining moment of my life, a conversation about choices. As always, I boldly, but sadly, exclaimed my choice to the world. Inside, I was in chaos at the moment, fighting every attempt at pulling me back to earth, to puncture my bubble. Some time later, when the chaos erupted and a great many hours was spent contemplating this very conversation, I realised the trick was making sure I never have to make the choice – which is, obviously; just making a new bubble around myself instead of puncturing the old one. The choice will be made, and it will be the right one. What sacrifices I must make in addition will surely send me down the hill.

Your post put a knot in my stomach today, which means it’s more true than anything I’ve ever written. But I’m not ready to admit it yet. Not yet. And I’m also sure that you will be the ones to bring me down eventually, for you are the only people with the knowledge to do it.

I know we will reach the top. But before we do, we must know where the bottom is. First one down will be first one back up I guess. I just hope you’ll take me with you. I know you will. I would.

I guess.

Your words lately have made me sad, for you touch something in the core of what I believe we are. Yet at the same time I am happy, because you finally said what I have always known. Many posts ago, I made a list, now, I think it is time for a new one.

E, your potential is unlimited and your friends are endless, or so it would seem – just remember they are there
H, your talent is infinite, and I hope you understand this one day – as it would be a great shame if you never do
M, of all of us, I believe you are the one truly at peace with who you are – unless you are like me, and the bubble will burst one day?
G, you are the leading man my friend, the wisest and best I know – you I would trust with everything I have

The list grows shorter. The truth grows more painful.
Still, we are together somehow, comforting as it is to know.

Every day brings us closer to the defining moments of everything else. Great things will come, we just have to be there when they do.

the trutH can be Painful

My brother, my hero

I realised today, that the answer to the last question of my previous question is simply; no. You want to know why?

My brother Ed came to Oslo to visit us and work with me for two days today. We walked around town, had dinner and had a drink while reading some comics before going out to meet some more people. People I didn’t know. Friends of friends and so on… what struck me was how stupid I found the conversations. Really. Completely pointless things that where just plain stupid. Forgive me for beeing blunt, but it was. And I realised, my friends would never talk like this. My brother doesn’t either.

Like you, he cares. There is no one else in the world I would rather have on my side. He takes care of other people like they where family or lovers. He cares for everyone like they are the most important people in the world, and with him, they always are. We dance with the world, we live life as if there is no tomorrow. We rule the world together and we fight over it. We are best friends and the best working team there is (maybe just the second best…), and we care.

I realised lately how much he means to me. How much I truly care and love for him, how much I am willing to do for him. We have the greatest times together, we laugh and joke and the world spins around. And we care abbout everything. My brother, I will stand behind you on whatever endavour you may pursue, whatever adventure you may undertake, I shall be there too.

And it is because of people like him that we will be ok. Everyday heroes that cares about it all.

My brother, my hero.
The words written in ink on your arm, they are absolutely true.

Nulli secundus – second to none. How right you are.

my brother, How Proud i am

*On a side note, this is the 400th published post on the BrookfieldLodge blog! Crack open the champagne!

A toast.

A toast to my friend. A toast to a good man. A toast to a warrior of light. A toast to all of you who venture to live your dreams. It seems today is that day. I am so happy right now, because you still walk among us, the few. I am so happy right now, because this means you still follow your heart!

follow your Heart and all will unfold Perfectly

This is my life.

Sleeping ’til the sun is high in the sky. Dreaming about the future. Eating breakfast with the best girl I know while reading the paper. Working on incredible, fantastic, boring, exciting, exhausting and extremely challenging projects. All of them at the same time. Drawing my own house. Making plans for the future. Thinking about my friends. Wishing I could fix all the worlds problems. Listening to great music. Attempting to play the piano. Planning a wedding. The best one ever. Chocolate. Red wine. A Vesper Martini every now and then. Cooking good food for good people. Enjoying the little things in life. Learning every single day. Always. Finding new places. Meeting new people and making new friends. Some not so good friends too. Sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. Not so much the drugs and we could do with some more rock ‘n roll. Setting up a new company. Longing for my girlfriend. My fiance actually. Climbing mountains. Walking in the woods. Sleeping outdoors in summer with a starry sky. Watching clouds drift by. Eating straweberries with cream. Caviar and Vodka. Barbequing in Switzerland with Georg. Going to the theatre in London with Eyal. Answering Hendrik’s Hog questions. Building lego. Getting up way to early in the morning after staying up way too long the night before. Beeing free and cruel. Loving someone. Loosing some battles. Winning the rest. Making three mistakes in one day. Screwing up the Schnick Schnack patch plan. Fixing the Hog. Drawing trees. Photographing beauty. Sleeping nude. Holding Signhild’s hand. Kissing. Running in the high and wild grass. Forgetting to be afraid of worms and bugs. Forgetting to be afraid of anything. Thinking I should rule the world. Ruling the world. Having the best friends ever. Ever. Seeing my family. Spending time with my brother, planning some great adventure. Realising there’s always a bigger fish. Beeing the bigger fish. Saving the day. Or screwing up all the plans everyone had. Keeping secrets. Sharing them. Knowing things. Showing off. Creating just one little bit of magic. Saving someones life. Saving the world. Wishing you could all be here. Now.

This is my life. It isn’t perfect. It doesn’t have to be.

tHis is my Perfect life.

The changing world.

Our world is changing. Quicker than even we, the young generations, can percieve. We have in our short lifetime gone from a isolated “big” world, to a connected “small” one. Everything is connected to everything. I can type something on twitter, and it is visible to thousands of people instantly. I can post a video on youtube and anyone, anywhere, can watch it whenever they want to. But is this changing us as well?

Recent studies suggest so, and there are a number of examples; a 15 year old today has produced more written material than most people in their 50’s have in their whole life. Our language isn’t dying, it’s evolving. American researchers found that the number of words in regular use and the clarity of language for people leaving high school have gone up dramatically for the past 10 years. There is more: the average teen today will have between 7 and 9 jobs before his 60th birthday. The average adult born before 1975 will have between 3 and 4. Modern people read roughly 3000 pages of textbooks each year; and 12.000 pages of e-mail.

The growing numbers relating to the collective information of the human race is staggering: each year, we upload more video hours to youtube than the complete production of CNN, NBC and the BBC put together. The total number of tweets to date is over 1 billion. If Facebook was a country, it would be the world’s 5th largest. When the idea of computers first took root, it was thought that one supercomputer on each continent would do; today, there are over 2 billion computer devices in the world. It has been suggested, that by the end of 2020, e-mail will no longer be the preferred method of communication; social networks and IM will have taken over completely. In 2015, the handheld device will be the primary accesspoint for over 50% of Internet users worldwide.

We have begun the transition to a new world. When everyone is a reporter, a cameraman and a photographer. When news reach the whole world in an instant and everyone can access anything, what does this do for democracy?

We are changing the very nature of our world. A new order, a new power, with the people, no longer restriced by borders, but united by cause. How will our leaders adapt to this? And; is this the start of the glorious new united world? Will this be the end of countries and eventually, war? In a world where everything is virtual, the warrior is outdated. Will it perhaps be, that the ones who will give us peace at last, will not be our leaders, our diplomats or our politicans, but ourselves?

sHaPe the world

Something that was written long ago.

I was going through some files and folders today, and found this text that I wrote in our second year in Liverpool. Seems rather fitting considering the recent posts I think. It still works. It still is valid. I still believe.

In the legendary TV show fraggle rock, someone asks the question “why do the dozers do what the dozers do?” the answer is simply “the dozers do what the dozers do because the dozers do what the dozers do” The answer is so simple because their reality is so simple, yet so beautiful. The dozers do what they do because that is the point of doing it in the first place.

But why do we do it? Why do we wake up every day, get out of bed in the early morning, eat some breakfast and go in to this place we call LIPA. Why do we work from 9 till 9 just so that performers can perform? And I am not saying this because I am bitter, because I am really not; I’m just asking the question. Why is it that we devote our lives to staying behind the stage, why do we spend our days of youth on creating stars and shows that are remembered for their performers and rarely for the technology and design?

Perhaps we are a bit like the dozers in one way, we will go through fire and hell to keep the show running, we will spend every minute of our waking day to get the job done. But then again, we are not like the dozers at all, because we could choose not to, we know something else; we don’t need to do it. But still we do.

I think I know why.

As I walked to LIPA this morning I came from the Hope street (funny name, isn’t it?) building, and as I walked by, one of the windows was open, inside; there must have been a group of singers or actors, because they were doing a vocal warm-up. For some reason I stopped and waited outside a few moments, and as I was standing there they started with Ave Maria. I stood and listened to this fantastically beautiful song as the sun was gently warming the sky above me, driving the last of the clouds out into the vast sea. Hearing. Thinking. Feeling. Seeing. I remembered. I remembered why I came here. I remembered why our hearts beat faster when we think about it; I remembered why we devote all possible time to doing dirty jobs in the darkness of the stage. I remember.

I remember that when the curtain falls and the audience explodes into applause, that is all I remember. All the long nights and dark hours are gone. I remember that when the stage is yet again empty and the audiences have long gone home, that is what I remember. The applause. The smiles. The joy. Or the sadness. The eyes of kids thinking about the magic they just witnessed. The prides of parents just having seen their kid stand on stage. The music. The sparkling lights. The applause. The feeling of having brought magic to others is what fuels our passion and makes us tick until the next time, until the next few seconds when the show is actually over.

I remember.

Because when all is dark and I go to bed at night, I remember that for two seconds, I was truly alive.

And today, when I had almost forgotten, I remembered.

Not for ourselves, but for the whole world in which we were born.

i Have not forgotten our Purpose

Yes, indeed.

Georg’s post fits perfectly. Yesterday I went to see the new Harry Potter film, and in light of the subjects discussed in it, I wanted to say something about love as well.

According to Dumbledore, who never says it directly, love is the exact thing that makes Harry able to defeat Lord Voldemort in the end. Voldemort only knows one type of magic, the dark and evil kind, he does not understand the power of the light, and he does not know love. He doesn’t even have the ability to love. Yet love is the most powerful kind of magic there is, with the power to vanquish all evil and terror, to sweep away the dark and bring out the best in all of us. It is true in the end I think, that love does conquer all.

If we let ourselves love, be loved and be guided by our hearts, then I guess there is no force powerful enough to stop us in the end.

Love is actually all around.

High and Powerful