things said and done…

I found this quote today, and thinking about some of the things that was discussed yesterday, it really makes sense as well as it is important and essential. To me anyway.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

-Mark Twain

And perhaps the clue to the answer is not having to make the decision at all. That could work. It could work.

leaving Harbour and Port

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Something that took a long time.

Something that took a long time and lot’s of attempts to formulate properly. But triggered by the concert with the Royal Liverpool Philarmonic Orchestra today. Because when I listen to classical music, I always what people like to do when listening to classical music… do they read a book? Do they sleep? Paint? Cook? and so on… So what do I do when the state of mind is right, the day is right and I’m listening to classical music?

It can only be one thing, can’t it. I write. Code that is, not any spoken language but code. Pure and simple, computerized langugae written by humans so that computers can understand it as well. And this extends into all forms of semantic code and syntax. In my eyes, it is not something that needs to be interpreted to be understood, it is just there like any other form of visual presentation, even text. Actually, there is no room for interpretation of code, it is one way and not the other. That is proboably why I like it, pure, simple, correct without room for error or fault.

I guess it’s actually not so much what I do when listening to classical music, it’s more, what I am listening to when writing and working with code. For me, the music and the code holds parallels to each other, as music itself is written in some form of code that the score is, and even with it’s infinite possibilites of interpretation, the complete opposite of code, music is something pure, perfect and simple that is universal. Beethoven’s 9th makes as much sense to a person speaking Mandarin as it does to someone speaking English. Universal. Code is universal. It is not dependant on language or culture for it’s interpretation, it is the same with all. Mathematics and the laws of the universe are the same. Universal.

Music. Mathematics. Code. All is one, all is universal.

I’m beginning to see a picture here. At least for my own part. Something fits together here and there.

tHe Programmer

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I must never forget this feeling.

this weekend has been the ….. experience in my life. so much so that i don’t have a word for it. Last night i was destroyed, completely devastated, and today i feel reborn, the 21 other directors i have been working with are like family, the journey we have gone through together is indescribable, I have never been in a room full of people who can keep up with me and connect with me so well, the audition was not competitive, i hope that each and every person in that room gets in. I will tell you everything within the next few days, i just wanted you, my closest friends to know that i have just undergone an unexplainable experience, one that will stay with me forever.
Sleep well my friends, may your dreams help to broaden your realities


To plant greatness where we wish to see it grow.

there is no way to win the struggle between the conscious and the unconscious mind, the only thing to do is deny it battle, In the grand scheme of greatness, i believe that people are made great, by their upbringing, their friends, and the circumstances in which they were put into. The choice is what they did with their greatness, Stalin was a great dictator, Moshe Dayan a great general, Steven Spielberg a great director, none of these are any less of more great, just simply great in their fields. My father is a Great father but was a hopeless husband. The choice to become great came and went to our parents, and one day we will get the choice for our own children. But the choice of what to do with that greatness is the one that worries me.

To be or not to be… that is the question,

To Die, to Sleep… perhaps to dream…

Everything Is far far away.

As free as we wish to be…

Now I have always been a strong believer of choice. That too have the opportunity to make a choice is the greatest freedom ever. Wether that choice means you spend your life on the road or you decide to take care of some loved ones, you still have a choice. Which is what makes you free.

There are random moments and there are moments of decision. Sometimes one follows the other. But make the choice, be concious of the fact that you in fact CAN make a choice. There is never anything truly binding you, only yourself. People are not born great, people choose to be great. You can say they had no choice, but in the moment, in the situation, they did have a choice. They just chose to be great.

When the moment comes you can chose. To be great or not to be great. As long as you make a decision. Then, you are free.

cHoose and Pursue

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How free are we?

Freedom is above all the right to tell the people what they don’t want to hear. This is a famous quote and I really like it. But there is a lot of truth in it. Because if you wanna be completely free, you have to be honest enough, otherwise you compromise yourself and your opinion on the world. It is definitely true, that the boundaries and borders you are confronted with during life, put in place by whoever, should not bother you and they cannot bother you, if you wanna be honestly free. But on the other hand, when it comes to other people, or better, people you are close to or that are close to you, you also have some sort of responsibility.

Yes, it is true. If you can only make someone happy on the cost of your own happiness, then you should question whether this is the right way to go. The question is, how much does your own happiness mean to you and how much does the wellbeing of the other person mean? Life demands a lot of compromises along the way. It might be difficult, to avoid all the decisions that compromise your own happiness in life. One might be able to make all those decisions in a way that you don’t have to give up something of your own happiness. But in the end, you might be alone. And how happy would you be then?

Let’s go and see…

Free and cruel

So what does it mean to truly walk this earth and be free and cruel?

It does not mean you will be alone but it does not mean you will be safe either. To be free is to truly relinquish yourself from the boundaries and borders placed on you by family, society and sometimes even friends. To be free is to realise that you can not make any one person happy if that happiness comes at the expense of your own. To be free is to dream for things so hard that they become real, to want it with the whole of your heart and not simply because it is expected.

To be cruel is not to be cruel to other humans, but to be cruel to yourself. This is the most difficult of it all, as our hearts are soft by nature, we are not meant to withstand torment or longing in our hearts. But to truly find yourself and what could possibly be described as true love, you must be prepared to sacrifice limits and safety for what is uncertain and limitless. You have to be cruel in your heart so that you can leave all that which does not matter behind in favour of what the world has in store for you.

If you wish for something strong enough and with the whole of your heart, then the universe will see it done. Life has so much to offer, reach out and take it.

Free and Cruel!

witH Pride

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