Lessons learnt…

It seems that those things we have taken for granted for so long, turn out to be mere shadows of former doubts. An optical illusion that you can see if you look at through the corners of your eyes, for when you look directly at it you will find that it isn’t at all what you first thought.
All for one and one for all, I don’t think that statement needs further explaining.
There is no shame in the scars of former wounds.

You will never appreciate breathing as much as when you are short for breath, you will never hate your heart as much as when it beats so loudly you think the whole world can hear it.

There are many forms of love… some passive, some active, some obsessive, some platonic, some romantic, some requited but most not, some conscious, but most not… and thats ok too, because it doesn’t make it any less than love.
To name that thing that you are afraid of will instantly make it less scary, so here i go, (in my typical analogical manner):

The Tunnel we have been walking down has been dark and long, and for some reason we have been more afraid of the rats beneath our feet than the train before our eyes, but we are nearly at the platform now. And I for one will not carry on walking down the track to the next stop, I’m getting on the train.

It’s a new day…

Just to mention one thing: This is the best and the worst time ever. It is very confusing not to know what the future brings.
Yesterday we literally closed the circle of our LIPA career, at least Eyal, Rich and I did. Eyal has the photo to that. We met at the interview over 3 years ago and we finally met again at this perhaps last occasion yesterday.

It was a great night for all of us: Adaptation finished, old friends met and perhaps new ones made. Who knows…

George-E is not just ready yet to give up all the dreams.

Some adaptation needed

Sometimes we do things, that we regret the very next second. Sometimes we cannot understand why we did what we did a minute later. It seems senseless and completely stupid. Sometimes, what we have done can be repaired, fixed, be undone. But sometimes it can’t.

There are days when I can move from complete happiness to depression within hours. Days, when the light seems to have lost me and left me in a cold, dark cave far away from everything. The walls seem to close in on me and it becomes hard to see any hope in the darkness. Most of the time, something, and it mostly is something very very small happens and suddenly there is light again. My mood lightens up again and there is a smile.

The past months have brought deep changes for some of our members here and as we can tell, the situation seems difficult to overcome.

During my research for the FRP and Turrell’s work, I found out that a lot of his pieces use darkness to transport the actual message of the work. By throwing the visitor in complete darkness, he forces his body to adapt to the darkness. This adaptation process, when our eyes try to determine something useful in the pitch-black environment, needs time. In this time our other senses get sharpened and become more sensitive. After a certain time, we become aware of a slight light glowing at one end of the room. Because the room was never completely dark, there has always been a light. We just were not able to see it at first.

Perhaps Hans, the adaptation needs a bit of time. And experience shows, it does. But there was always light, it has never been extinguished and it will continue to shine. And the closer you move towards it, once you have recognised it, the brighter it will shine for you. At this point you will notice all the other people that have been in this dark void with you all the time. They were just not detectable at first.

So let’s go and see for ourselves…

This is gonna take some work


I have lost the light
By my own hand it left my side
My own doing
Led me to darkness

I am vulnerable
I am missing my shield
Open and cold
Out in the void
The memories are everywhere
And they are too good to be forgotten

I have lost something. I drove away someone who had been closer to my heart than anyone else. How can I ever repair the wound I have caused. How can I ever be forgiven?

Where is the light?

I will need some HelP with this…

Posted in hp

Did you know?

Actually, I’m not going to say anything else following that, because recently, it seems to bore people more than usual. Could be because I’ve been writing this research paper and consequently, doing a lot of exciting research into redundant fibre optic networking, digital control protocols and signal theory. Lots of fun I tell you! If you are interested, let me know and I’m sure we can sort out a day where we can meet and discuss this in more detail.

What I am going to say something about however, is a follow up to Georg’s truths. I agree with all of them completely, and I am going to dare to say that I understand all of them completely as well. Although this might not be as true as I want it to be… I think that there are other truths as well, things that are true for each of us on an individual level. Some kind of ethos perhaps, a credo even. Something that we live by, even though you might not be aware of it, it could be on a purely subconcious level, but I believe that we have some kind of inner workings that actually decide how we act and choose in difficult situations.

But, and perhaps this is the point I’m trying to make, I believe that people that have a stronger connection on a concious level are better prepeared for the difficult things in life. People that are aware of how themselves work seem to be able to consider the needs of other people first, at least to an extent where other people are not harmed by their doings. And this is interesting, I don’t want to talk about other people being better than others, because that is impossible to define. But I think some people care more than others, and this makes all the difference.

Difference, that is what we seek to achieve, isn’t it? To make a difference. At least that’s what I want to do in the end. I want to matter. I want to change and inspire. I want to make a difference. Whatever it might be, I want to live forever… not, living forever, but I want to have served a purpose for something that has an impact on the future… I, not I, want to live forever. If you understand what I am trying to say.

If you don’t… well, I’m not sure if I can help you.

And on the more mundane level of things, I will always fly blue!

tHe blue Pilot

Posted in hp

Hello…!? Is there anybody out there?

It seems I have to write something every now and then, just to keep the blog alive. This is particularly ironic as I almost finished this blog some time ago…

Well, without repeating myself, we are all kept quite busy, pretty much with ourselves. Everyone has to sort out some things and the time here is running away from us now. Only a few more weeks, a couple of days and the Brookfield Lodge will no longer be our home. It has become our home, the place we live, and where our hearts are free. The lodge always was a reliable friend, offered us all shelter and protected us from the world outside. We will keep the memory of it alive as the place we all came together, became friends. I hope the Lodge will continue to welcome students over the next years. (Even though it isn’t a hostel any more…)

On the other hand, the last week started for us all to finish the final research paper. It almost marks the most significant last step in LIPA. But – hold on – there are still another two sessions of “Storytelling with Neil” to go through. It is incredible that a person like him is allowed to “teach” anyone. Not only are the lectures the most boring experience you will probably have in your life, they are also completely useless, stupid and on top of it all – not even funny. And again, this is a remarkable achievement, considering how boring a lot of other sessions during the last three years were. But again, tomorrow we will have the final two “lectures” and then the official part of LIPA is over. Again, time is running.

What else. Yesterday I went to see “Classical Spectacular” in the Liverpool Echo Arena. Besides the slightly distracting fire alarm and the emergency announcements caused by the indoor fireworks, the arena makes a very good impression. OK, they really concreted over all the sockets in the floor, but hey, you can’t get everything right, can you?

And this may only be for us insiders: Hog rules! Blue desks are still much more stylish than these gray blocks with huge orange buttons and rainbow screen menus!

Go! See the world!

Truths… well, at least I think so.

Every now and then I read a blog by a guy called Dave from Rhode Island in the USA. I originally ended up on his page on one of these days, when you simply click yourself from one link to the next. He is a former gymnast and this is how I found his page by clicking through the link-jungle of former clubs of mine. Well it turned out that he is quite smart and I started to like his way of looking at things sometimes. Well, to cut this story short: Ironically under the blog title “I am dumb” he lists some truths he thinks are very true. I like what he wrote, so here they are:

  • Everything is one: separation is an illusion. You are everything and everything is you. Everything contains its opposite – except love.
  • You create your world. If you change your thoughts, you’ll change your world. Everything is a choice – including believing in barriers and limitations.
  • This moment is perfect. Life unfolded exactly as it needed to unfold. Though you came here by choice, it would have been impossible to choose differently given what you (or the people in your life) knew at the time.
  • Nothing real dies.
  • Within every situation is a lesson. The most painful situations often contain the most important lessons. If you keep creating a situation in your life, it is because you need to learn the lesson that the situation is offering.
  • Your relationship with your self is the most important relationship you can have.
  • Practicing acceptance is one of the secrets to happiness. You must accept yourself, others and this moment. The only person you can change is yourself. You can educate, love, help and support other people – but you can’t change other people. Change is a decision that we must make for ourselves. Struggling against this moment has never changed the way things are. Surrender.
  • Each of us was created to observe the universe in our own unique way and to tap into our purpose. There is something that each of us can do better than anyone else that will help mankind.
  • Everything is infinitely beautiful. We look at beauty through a pair of sunglasses. If we could see how beautiful this world was – and everyone within – we would die.

Some of the things here tie in perfectly with some of the things we have been discussing lately. What I coincidence to find this blog post right now… Oh wait! It could have been destiny! 😉

Well, in case you want to check his blog have a look at www.breaktheillusion.com